Oh, the Habits We Gain When the Spouse is Away...

After a breathtaking year of change, loss and discovery, I find myself in an interesting situation. My husband, having lost his engineering job more than a year ago, embarked on a grinding schedule of overnight shifts mixed with haven't-been-to-sleep-yet daytime shifts to support two jobs. His sacrifice all those months was extraordinary, but now he's back to working a"day job" at last. Hurray!

The interesting part is facing the habits I've gained while essentially being a single woman. Staying awake for days at a time, wearing sweaty workout clothes far beyond what's socially acceptable, obsessing about writing projects instead of keeping a healthy perspective and eating, eating, eating. My beloved, after all, was at work or asleep most of the time, so our joint accountability structures flew out the window.

I'll cut myself just a little slack by saying that the loss of someone very dear to our hearts and the diagnosis of a chronic illness raised the depression factor enormously. But did all those months really fly away in a blur of insomnia, bad television and angry prayers?

So, here I am, overweight with a sadly depleted wardrobe, wondering how I'm going to fall asleep at ten p.m.! As I've commented to girlfriends this week, it's time to "step up my game." Get back on a schedule. Stop writing through the night. Eat actual meals instead of grazing. Relate to another adult regularly. Allow God to heal me instead of shaking my fist at Him.


Here are the lessons I hope will keep me standing when the next tsunami hits:

1) Sometimes I have to experience great pain to learn what's most important.
2) Taking my mate for granted isn't an option.
3) Getting lost in my circumstances isn't a permanent state.
4) Even when I think I'm beyond hope, God brings me back.
5) Alone isn't where I want to live.
6) I should have reached out to my friends much earlier.

Learn from my mistakes. Really. It's so much easier than fighting your way back.